Heartbreak
by defy.gravityxD
Summary: What if Edward never came back? What if Bella had an unsuspected meeting with Victoria and was changed? What if a hundred years later, she meets the Cullens, again? Well guess what? It's all going to happen now. I do not own Twilight in any way.
1. The beginning?

pain stabbed through me as I walked towards ou-that meadow.

It had been almost a year since _he_ left me, left me to be nothing and become nothing.

Why I was here I had no idea. Why should I --Bella Swan-- have to come back to this place after all this time? Why do I feel this, pull towards that place, after all it's only going to lead to more heart break --if that's even possible.

I trudged through the forest blindly, pulling away at the stray branches coming dangerously close to hitting me.

Ah, here it was, ou- the meadow. As I looked around i felt another portion of my heart being ripped apart. But I barely felt the pain, I had already been through this so many times that it felt almost like a... routine.

A deliberate cough brought me back to reality. My head snapped up and searched for its owner.

I gasped. That fiery red hair, those crimson eyes, the ghostly pain skin. I felt another stab of pain looking at her, as different as she was, she still reminded me of... them.

"Victoria," I whispered, backing away into the forest, clutching at my mangled heart.

Her lips curled up into a malicious smile "Well who did you expect sweety, your little fling, Eddie?"

I collapsed at the sound of his name, it had been ages since I had heard it. a strangled sob broke through my throat. "No, don't.. Don't say it" I moaned helplessly.

"What did you expect Bella? That he would actually stay for someone as worthless to him? You were just an experiment, a game to him." I sobbed helplessly at her words, knowing that they were true. I was never worthy of him, I never deserved Edward.

"Hmm" Victoria mused, as she perched her index finger against her chin. "I traveled all the way here to kill you, so that my James will be avenged, but I think I have a better idea..." She smiled and came closer.

What was she talking about? I wanted, no I needed her to kill me, finish off my pointless existance. Was she just playing with me, trying to give me some hope?

Yes, I decided. That's it, she thinks I'm afraid of dying, and she wants to give me some small inkling of hope. A pained smile flickered across my face.

"Bella, killing you just doesn't seem as fun as it did before," she came closer, shifting into a feline position. "You see, when James died, I wanted to die. I wanted to just run away because life without him was almost meaningless to me." That was exactly how I felt, I mused. Who knew we'd be alike in any way.

"And for some unknown reason, Bellie," She giggled at my new nickname. "You feel the same way about Eddie, so why not curse you to my life, a life of pain and misery that you can not escape from." Victoria smiled maliciously, coming dangerously close.

"No!" I screamed. No please anything but tha-

Victoria pounced, her teeth baring at me. I shielded my face, instinctively from her. She landed ontop of my legs, surely fracturing them. I screamed in pain, and hugged my arms tightly to myself.

She pulled my left hand up, searching. She smiled when she found what she was looking for. She pulled my hand closer, aligning her mouth to exactly where James had bit me, and Edwa- he had sucked out the venom from.

With one last evil smile. Victoria lowered her head.

I felt my skin tearing, and something hot, almost like fire encasing my hand. I screamed.

Everythingwent black. I couldn't see anything.

I was burning, I was being tortured. This was definately worse than death.

"Kill me!" I shrieked, as writhed in pain.

"No Bellie, I won't. You are going to die, yes. But you are going to die painfully, this death ur being sentenced to won't end. It will be hell for you. It's what you deserve."

And then I passed out.

**AN: This is my very first story so I'm not sure how it is.**

**please R&R, all criticism is welcomed :].**

**thanks,**

**DeFy gRaviTy xD.**


	2. Confrontation

**AN: Thanks so much guys for all the nice reviews. It really meant alot to me :].  
Btw for the songs for each chapter,  
chapter one was: I'm So Sick by Flyleaf  
chapter two is: Haunted by Kelly Clarkson**

A hundred years, a _century_ had passed since I was changed.

After becoming a vampire I became a monster: Bella Sawn the Terrible, or whatever you wanted to call me. I absolutely hated myself at first. Killing people for my own existence? I was a horrible pers—thing…

But at least now I was a good monster—what an oxymoron I mused.

Well I was a good vampire, you could call me a vegetarian—it didn't pain me anymore at the thought of that. I smiled to myself.

But I was not over them, I don't think I could ever be, _he_ wasn't just my first love, _he _was my _only_ love. But after being changed _everything_ changed, I focused most of my energy on hating them. Hating them for what they did to me, what they left me to become.

I sighed, I was always bringing myself down with thoughts of them, _what a great way to live_, I thought sarcastically.

Well I was going to school _again_, school was literally _my_ form of sleep, because I highly doubt some community college graduate high school teachers could teach _me_ something new.

I was currently attending Robbinsville High School? Whatever. It was just another small town school located somewhere in New Jersey. Fun. But it was rainy enough for me to attend school almost normally. Seem like a normal person, and not like a vampire.

I smiled to myself, could I ever seem normal? Even when I was human I was never normal.

Ah, time to go to my tedium: school.

* * *

I drove my blue Porsche to school, attracting many stares. I was the new girl, the one who everyone's frivolous thoughts would be focused on for awhile. I went to the front office.

"Hello, my name is Isabella Swan, I'm new here." I smiled trying to make a good impression—not like it mattered.

"Oh, hello dear, I'm Mrs. Avery," She smiled. How weird, she seemed almost immune to my vampire-ness? Almost like she was, used to it. In my other schools girls were considering homo sexuality, when I first arrived. I smiled wryly.

"Here, let me print out your schedule Isabella"

"Oh no, please call me Bella."

"Okay then, Here's your schedule, Bella." She handed me my schedule.

Period 1: AP English  
Period 2: AP Calculus  
Period 3: World History  
Period 4: Public Speaking  
Period 5: Lunch  
Period 6: Honors Biology  
Period 7: Gym

I groaned, I was learning Calculus and biology _again_? Well it was better than gym. It's not that I'm bad at gym, I just can't do anything. I have to dim down my strengths to be human like…

I headed down to English. It was and still is my favorite subject.

I entered the class, and walked towards the teacher, ignoring all the stares and whispers I was getting. I was used to all this.

"Hello, I'm Isabella Swan, I'm new here."

"Good to see you, Isabella, I'm Mr. Patterson. Here's the reading curriculum, please make sure you have all the books on it,"

"Please call me Bella," I said smiling.

"Sure, Bella can you go sit next to Ms. Cullen?"

I froze, Cullen? No, it couldn't be, they can't be here. I panicked. No, I couldn't go to school with them, wasn't it enough hat they were in almost all of my thoughts? Now I have to go to school with them?

"Bella, is there a problem?" He brought me back to reality, and I was once again under the gaze of many curious stares.

"No, there's no problem," I muttered and gave a pained smile to appease him.

I walked towards Alice, with no hope. _Great_, life just got _so_ much more fun.

I sat down avoiding her curious stare and shook my mahogany hair in front of my face, in between me and Alice. My old defense mechanism.

"Bella!" Alice whispered ecstatically "I can't believe it's really you! Ohmygosh we all thought you had died! Edwa—."

I silenced her with a glare. "Leave me alone." I hissed. Alice's face immediately fell, but the monster in me rejoiced at her pain, she deserved some. "You had no problems the first time." I said just to hurt her more.

Well, this school year was going to be different. Who knew Robbinsville High School actually had something in store for me; that _I _was not prepared for. I smiled, ready for the heartbreaking challenge.

After all, I had promised myself. I would never open myself up to them again.

**AN: Hope you like :]  
~DeFy gRaviTY xD**


	3. Reaction

I felt Alice's eyes on me all throughout me during English.

I sighed audibly and turned to look at her "What?"

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry! I never wanted to—" she blubbered looking like she would cry if she could.

"Save it for someone who believes it Alice," I snapped and silenced her with a stare. Her incredibly sad face _might_ have broken me down before, but now I was to emotionless to care.

Thankfully she left me alone after that, I knew if she kept at it, I would have eventually given in, and I could not do that. I couldn't open myself up to hurt anymore. I owed myself that much.

I wonder what the rest of them will do, I mused to myself. I wonder if Edw- he found anyone else. The pain of that thought itself almost had me doubled over.

I clutched my chest, soothing the pain in my chest where my heart was.

I knew I would be crying silent tears now if I was still human.

I hated this, how could I be so weak? How could I ever want to go back to them? After all they did!

When English was over, I rushed out of the class at human speed. I didn't stop when I heard Alice call me. I didn't stop till I found a closet.

I hit the wall, and slid down to the floor feeling broken. But I knew I had to let it all out now, if I wanted to be strong when I saw them again.

Ah, I had missed lunch. Perfect, I just saved myself from socializing with arrogant guys, and pushing away the Cullens.

What class did I have next? Oh, right, Biology.

Hmm, history just repeats itself doesn't it? Back in my good old human days I had biology right after lunch. As a matter of fact, I had it with him.

The odds weren't in my favor today, but no one would be cruel to seat me next to him for a whole hour, right?

Someone up there had to love me.

I took a look at the clock again and got up brushing myself off. I headed towards Biology.

Oh shit. I thought to myself. History just has to repeat itself perfectly doesn't it?

There he sat in all his bronze haired glory, staring at me in shock.

Hmm, maybe Alice didn't relay him the information.

As I looked at him, I didn't feel the pain I usually felt. And I now knew, I was strong enough to hold them off for these four years, right?

I ignored him and his penetrating gaze and walked to the front. "Hello, I'm Isabella Swan, I'm new here." I just recited the same little speech again. Ah the tedium. I smiled wryly.

The teacher introduced himself and signed my paper. Now time for my seat… please don't say…

"Bella, go sit next to Mr. Cullen, please."

I frowned. Did god hate me or something? It sure seemed like he was doing everything possible to break through my thin wall of hate.

I nodded curtly and walked towards Edward.

Wow. I thought to myself. I said _the_ name.

I sat down smoothly and pulled out my books. Hah, see, I'm not clumsy anymore. I don't need some knight in shining armor to come down and sweep me up off of my feet anymore.

All throughout Biology I felt Edward staring at me.

It was very hard to take my notes, and not turn and look at him. But I used every bit of will power I had, and conquered. I smiled again.

This time I heard Edward take a sharp intake of breathe.

I turned to him and glared at him, well if looks could kill vampires, he'd definitely be dead right now.

But I refused to talk to him and went back to my notes.

After Biology I ran out of the class room to go hide in the gym locker room till I was sure the Cullens had all left.

But no, Edward just had to follow me.

As soon as I was out of the vincity of the biology classroom I felt an unfamiliar hand encase my wrist.

I looked up confused—when I realized, he isn't cold to me anymore…

When I looked up I made contact with those topaz eyes. They were still just as beautiful as they always were. I shook my head slightly, no I can't think that.

"What do you want Edward" I snapped. The venom in my tone was very obvious.

He dropped my hand shocked, but his gaze stayed locked on mine.

I saw his eyes cloud with hurt.

"Bella," he whispered and brought his hand up to my face, and stroked my cheek. "My beautiful Bella, why didn't you tell me? How did this happen? We all thought you were dead, they even had a grave for you…"

I snapped out of my entrance the moment he said my beautiful Bella. Oh what? Now that I was a vampire, and I possessed inhumane beauty, he suddenly wanted me again? Well guess what? He doesn't get me back.

"Well, Eddie," I said using the nickname he hated. "I don't really don't need to explain myself to _you _now do I?" Silence "That's what I thought. But I'm not like you; I don't leave without an explanation. Why didn't I tell you? Because you are the very last person I ever wanted to or want to see.

He flinched at my lie. Oh well he deserved it. Little did he know that I spent every lonesome day dreaming of him.

"How did this happen? Well obviously I was bitten. Isn't a little obvious? But if your wondering who bit me, it was your darling friend Victoria. Her personal gift to me."

He growled.

"Oh shut up!" I snapped. "Stop acting like you care! We _both _know you don't! So just leave me alone. It's your own fault that I was bitten anyways. If I hadn't gone out with me, or better yet if you hadn't left, I'd be dead now! Great improvement for you, right Edward?"

His eyes clouded with hurt, and was that a trace of anger?

"Bella" He whispered. "Please, listen," he pleaded.

"No, I don't think I will," I whispered falling back into his beautiful gaze. "It's time I go now."

I turned to go. I walked calmly to my blue convertible, happy with myself for finally standing up to them.

As I entered the parking lot I sighed. All of them, even Edward, were standing around their silver Volvo. Staring intently at me, as if that would just beckon me over to them.

But alas, my car was two spaces down from there's. When I turned toward them I could literally feel Alice's happiness and Edward's cockiness.

That little smirk ticked me off. Did he think I'd just come back to them? Wrong my dear friend, very wrong.

As I walked right by, I heard them gasp.

I opened my door and was about to get inside when I felt one, two, three, four, five hands on me!

I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe "Let go of me,"

"No Bella, not until you let us explain!" Alice wailed clearly upset.

"You will listen to me Bella." Edward said almost commandingly? Who the hell did he think he was?

That's it; I couldn't control my power anymore. I opened my eyes, which were now glittering with fury.

You see whenever I used my power my eyes would glitter like there were diamonds. It was a very pretty sight.

They all collapsed to the ground writhing in pain.

I closed my eyes again calming myself.

"Oh you want to know why that's my power? Before I was changed I would always feel pain, so I had too much. Therefore I can inflict my pain on you."

"Yeah what you just felt was what you caused." Edward, Emmett, and Alice were looking at me hurt. Rosalie was fuming about what I'd just done.

I smirked at her, she growled.

Jasper, his face was haunting. It looked so guilty. I gave him a sad smile, letting him know I didn't blame him. However I did blame someone else.

I turned to look at Edward again and the anger resurfaced.

"Goodbye now," I said and got into my car, and sped off.  
As I turned the corner, I caught a glimpse of Emmett restraining Edward from chasing after me.

Warding the Cullens off would not be easy.


	4. Surprises?

**Thanks for all the sweet reviews guys! Especially you edwardandbella008, your the best!  
The song for this chapter is Stay With Me by Dainty Kane :].  
Enjoy**

Ah, I was at home. My safe little haven, no one would bother me here.

Well not after my show, I'm sure they'd hate me now.

I gasped. I had suddenly felt another heart wrenching stab, it still bothered me for some reason, if anyone of them was displeased with me. I'm so stupid. Who knows maybe he had a good reason to leave me, I mused.

But I immmediately growled, no there was no good reason to leave, after all he said he didn't love me anymore.

Fine, well now he can get a taste of his own medicine. When the one you love says you don't matter at all to them.

I sat down on my blue bed and shook my head. I ran my fingers on my velvet covers to soothe myself. No, just because he hurt me, I shouldn't go on some rampage of getting him jealous.

I didn't need to be friends with them, or have anything do with them. But I would be civil, not some jealous ex girlfriend, who stoops down to low levels for revenge.

Still try as I might, I know, I will only love him all my existance. But what's the point of a one sided love.

I can just live my existance alone, secretly loving him, no one would have to know, or could know. After all he couldn't read my mind anymore.

I sighed and got up and stretched, hunting time.

Then the door bell rang.

* * *

Who could it be? No one even knew me here--well, except for the Cullens--but even they had enough sense to know I wanted to be left alone. well everyone except for him, but I'm sure they'll keep him back.

I went down and opened the door.

surprise?

Mentally I gasped. Rosalie?

I stood at the door in shock.

She looked awkward--wow that's a first.

She opened her mouth, and took a deep breathe.

She recited what I was sure was a well rehearsed speech "Look, Bella, I know we've never been close or anything, and I'm sorry I was such a pig headed vain idiot, but I think we need to talk." I was to shocked to be angry, so I simply nodded and let her in.

She sat down awkwardly as I sat across from her.

I began to speak, but she put her hand up to silence me. She smiled.

"Bella, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here and why I hated you before, so let me just tell you that's why I'm here. I'm not here to get you and Edward back together, because that's something that's destined to happen on its own"

I nodded, good. Atleast she understood I needed to be myself, not with anyone. ever.

"Now I am going to sound like a tenacious brat at sometimes, but please, bare with me"

"Sure," It was the first time I had spoken since she arrived.

"Well I guess I should start at the begginning. You already know how and why I was changed, **(AN: Let's just pretend she knows, I don't feel like repeating the book)** so lets skip all the gory details, and I guess I'll start after that"

I motioned for her to continue "After I was changed Carlisle and Esme hoped that I'd be like Esme was for Carlisle. But of course we both showed no interest in each other." She assured me looking worried.

For some reason I was happy. Wow. I really needed a life.

I nodded again "Continue," I said quietly, meeting her Topaz eyes, they looked just like Edward's eyes.

"Well, I was used to not showing other guys attention. But Edward didn't show any attention to me. That was something I couldn't handle. Even when I was human guys would pawn after me. And here I was, an inhumane beauty," She chuckled darkly "and he wasn't all over me?" She frowned, "I'm sure I sound so stupid to someone as selfless, but please understand, it was how I was raised, to think I was the most beautiful thing ever"

I smiled at her assuringly "Don't worry, I dont blame you"

"I was appeased when Edward didn't got after all the girls who pined after him, I thouhgt maybe he was gay, or defficiate in a way. But then he met you! And he loved you, and saw you as beautiful. I was insanely jealous"

I gasped "You were jealous... of me?"

She smiled and laughed, "Yes, but that's not astounding, you are very beautiful"

"So that explains the previous hate. But why are you here now?"

She sighed "Ah... that's a little more difficult"

"oh.. kay?"

"I know I wasn't the nicest person to you, but can we just start over, so there's no hate between us. I know you hate all of us, and me of all people asking you not to hate me is utterly stupid. But please Bella, you don't know how much it actually pained me when we left you." How did I pain her? "You don't know how big of a deal you were to us: Emmett stopped joking, Alice stopped shopping as much, Esme wasn't as happy, Carlisle was even more serious, Jasper blamed himself for everything, even I was different. And Edward I can't even begin to explain..."

I held my hand up, "Please don't bother lying to me, I know he didn't care for me at all, and I wasn't that big of a deal to you guys, you left me!" I said my voice edging to histeria.

Rosalie was at my side in a nano second, and wrapped her arms around me "Shh, Bella, It'll be okay. I may not be the psychic, but I know everything will work out"

I nodded incoherently.

"I should be going they'll be wondering where I am, Carlisle and Esme think we should give you some time, but I needed to come," She pleaded.

I nodded, "It's okay Rose, I understand, it's nice to have someone to talk to, but don't tell them." She looked shocked.

"I'm not ready to go back to you guys, I'm not sure I ever will, but I guess I trust you the most because you aren't exactly afraid to relay exactly what you think"

I smiled, and she giggled in response.

"Yes, you could say that... But Bella, Alice already knows, so they all will know"

I sighed.

"Fine, tell them. But I'm not going to have anything do with them, I'm sorry"

"It's okay Bella, I understand. What we did was absolutely cruel to you"

"No, it wasn't cruel, just painful." I smiled again. Wow, I had smiled way too much today.

"Friends?" she asked precariously, afraid of my rejection "Sure, friends. See you tommorrow, Rose"

"Oh, and tell Edward and Alice, that they aren't forgiven please, I dont want them just coming up to me tommorrow, and expecting friendship."

She nodded. "Don't worry sweety. Sit with me at lunch tommorrow"

"Just you, right?" She nodded "Oh, Jasper can come too, ask him please!"

"I'm sure he'll join us. Did you by any chance notice he's immensely guilty?"

"Guilty as charged," I joked. We both laughed.

I stepped in to hug her. "Bye Rose! See you tommorrow"

"See you Bella," She waved and left.

Wow, who knew I'd forgive Rosalie the first?

Well she is the most blunt, she wont lie and hide from me. So I know she really does want to be my friend.

* * *

I opened the door and ran outside into the forest.  
I love the exhileration, the feel of the wind whipping through my hair, the feeling of being... free. I just let out all my stress and ran.

Tommorrow would be another day, filled with its own surprises, but I had at least one friend to make it better. I smiled at the thought.

Wait, what's that smell? Ah, a deer. Hunting time.

**AN: and this is a gift to all those people who wished Rosalie was nicer. She is now the nicest. I do like ehr nice though. It fits her better, thats what I think atleast...**

**Oh and on offnote never buy a Twilight poster from spencers. I went in to spencers with my friend, to egt one and we were soon surrounded by adult toys :O. And then we went like freaky teens and were like ohemgeee and faking, on the off hand we got kicked out.  
But who cares, Perverted people belong inside spencers, not my beautiful Twilight posters!  
Oh and 8 days till the movie! How many people are seeing it on friday? I'm not seeing the premiere but I'm seeing it at 4 in the afternoon with my friends on saturday!  
~DeFy gRaviTY xD.**

* * *


	5. Anorexic, or Bulemic?

**Thanks for all the nice review guys :]. You're all so sweet :].  
This chapters sort of a filler I guess, but it was necessary so hope you enjoy!**

Wednesday, the first day of school--since I started--that I would not fear.

When I walked out of my house to get to my car, I was shocked to see a red convertable outside.

I stood there for a second shocked, would it be him? No this was a Rosalie car.

Cautiously I stepped forward and waved, when the window rolled down.

"Well are you going to stand there admiring my beautiful car all day, or get in?" laughed Rosalie. Her blonde hair was let down today, and it encased her face marvelously. Even now, as a vampire with inhumane beauty, I still envied Rosalie's beauty. Nothing could compare to it, everything paled to her in comparison.

I laughed "I'm coming Rosalie," I sang and got into her car.

She raised one eyebrow at me, "Well someone is actually in a good mood today, that is something I'd never thought I'd see. Glad to see your normal sweety."

I frowned "Don't call me sweetie, Rosiepoo, or there will be dire consequences"  
She laughed.

"Well are you both just going to ignore me or something?" an unknown voice questioned.  
I yelped, and turned around. I guess the look on my face must have been hilarious because Rosalie and Emmett were doubled over in laughter.

"Emmett. You scared the hell out of me!" I exclaimed breathlessly.

"Bella, the afraid vampire. Gosh, honestly Bella, I'm surprised you're still not tripping over your own feet." Emmett smirked.

"Oh, shut up Emmett." I smiled, letting him know I didn't blame him either. I only blamed two of them. Because they were mean horrendous liars...

Shut up Bella. I thought. Remember be civil towards everyone, even in your thoughts.  
Wow, now I'm talking to myself, I'm stupid.

I shook my head. "So Rose is Jasper sitting with us today...?" I asked this cautiously, because as sweet as Jasper was, I had a feeling he was only with the Cullens because of Alice. So he would never ever displease her in any way.

"Yeah. Him and Alice got into a big row about it yesterday though." Emmett answered nonchalantly.

"Why?" I asked shocked, I didn't want to tear apart their coven...

"Well, Edward and Alice thought it wasn't fair that we got to sit with you while they didn't.. And Jasper wanted to sit with you, and Alice was pretty furious at him." Rosalie answered as she pulled into the parking lot.

Why, those selfish, little, loathsome creatures! So now I wasn't allowed to have any friends if I didn't worship them or something? Ugh, forget civil. If they say a word to me, about anything whatsoever, I will make sure they regret it.

"Well come to think of it Emmett, I don't remember inviting you to my 'all exclusive clique.' I said jokingly.

"Oh come on Bella, no one can resist the Emmet man's charm." He answered smirking.

I raised my eyebrow, smiling. "Emmett man?"

Rosalie smacked him "Stupid fool."

We got out of the car and rushed to our first period class "See you at lunch." I called.

* * *

I entered English just before the bell rang.

I nodded at Mr. Patterson and sat down next to Alice, ignoring her as I usually did.

"Bella," She whispered. "Why won't you talk to me?"

I silenced her with a glare, and closed my eyes. One more word...

"Bella, please."

"Alice, shut up. Just shut up." I whispered at vampire speed. "You're so lying and manipulative. You don't think Rose and Em didn't tell me how you're trying to prevent Jasper from sitting with me at lunch?" She looked at me shocked, I smirked. "I'm not going to worship you anymore, so you can get over yourself. Oh and tell that to Edward too." I turned back to the front.

All throughout class I could feel her shocked stare on my back.

* * *

Emmett and Rosalie met me at my locker before lunch.

"Hey guys." I said smiling.

"Hey Bella, ready to go seem anorexic to the humans?" Emmett asked a we walked towards the cafeteria.

I laughed, "Anorexic, I never thought we seemed thatw way..."

"Well in my case, manorexic, but still. Edward's always complaining about it too."

I smiled. Bella the anorexic human, or Bella the normal vampire?

We walked into the cafeteria and Emmett exclaimed "Look at all that food!" The humans thought he meant the actual food, but we vampires knew he meant those oblivious humans

I giggled, ah Emmett. My big brother.

Rosalie smacked him again. "Honestly Emmett, why don't you just shout we're vampires to the world?"

"Because then, Rose would smack me again, and my head would hurt." I smiled, these two would never cease to entertain me, would they?

We sat down. "Hey guys, where's Jasper?"

"He should be here by now..." Rosalie said talking to herself.

"And he is always on time," another voice answered.

I looked up and smiled. "Hey Jasper."

"Hello Bella, it's good to see you again." He sat down next to Emmett, and across from me.

My eyes wandered across the cafeteria till they landed on four golden orbs staring back at me.

Alice and Edward looked mad. No not mad, jealous.

Wait, jealous, of me? I looked at them again and almost gasped. They thought me and Jasper fancied each other. oh. oh. Oh!

Wow. Did they really think that low of me? I mean it is a little obvious that I haven't moved on from Edward, and Jasper loves Alice more than anything in the world...

"Bella!" A voice called, breaking me from my revirie.

"Hmmm?" I asked confused

"You zoned out on us!" Emmett exclaimed. "You can't zone out on us, you're losing precious Emmett time, I mean you only get an entire eternity of it!"

I laughed. "Not an entire eternity!" I said acting shocked and clutching my heart.

"What were you thinking about Bella?" Jasper asked, curiously.

"Nothing much, I just had an epiphany." I said waving it off.

"Care to elaborate?" Jasper asked politely. No, not when the people it's about have vampire hearing...

"Sure," I said trying to come up with something. "I remembered how Emmett had his anorexic theory, and I was thinking we were actually bulemic?" I said, but it came out as a question.

Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper all gave me a knowing look. Oooh they were on to me, they knew I was lying.

"Well Be-" Emmett began.

"You're lying Bella." A musical voice said quietly--so quietly only a vampire could hear.

I turned around and hissed at him. "If I didn't make this clear earlier, Edward. Leave. Me. Alone." I whispered harshly.

Honestly, what did he expect me to explain my epiphany to him?

My table looked at me shocked.

"Wow, Bella. Who would have known you were a fighter?" Emmett questioned trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, I did punch a werewolf..." I retorted.

"Pre, or Post?" Rosalie questioned, leaning in like she was getting some major gossip.

"Huh?"

"Before or after you were a vampire, Bella." Jasper explained.

"Oh. it was before I was changed." Now my table looked really shocked.

"What? What happened?" Emmett asked, he seemed outraged that he was outdone by me.

I smiled. "Well you know the La Push residants were werewolves, right?" They nodded. "Well, I already knew that, obviously. But after you guys left-" They all winced, I immediately felt bad "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up...,"

"No Bella, it's our fault, not yours. Continue." Jasper urged.

"Well me and Jacob Black became really close friends." They all wrinkled their noses, remembering the dog like smell werewolves let off.

"But I guess he liked me more than friends, because one day when we were hanging out he said he loved me and kissedme against my will!"

I was surprised by the reactions. Rosalie hissed. Emmett and Jasper looked murderous, ah my big brothers. But I was mostly surprised by the low growl Edward let out. I turned and looked at him scathingly before continuing.

"Well, needless to say, I was mad. So I punched him." I said simply.

They all looked shocked. "How stupid are you Bella?" Rosalie asked questioning my sanity.

"Shut up Rose, my little sister is a fighter" I smiled and looked up at Emmett.

"Continue." Rosalie said.

"Well, I broke my hand, so I had to go to the Emergency Room, and I've never talked to him since." I concluded.

The Bell rang, and I groaned.

Off to biology. "See you guys later." I said waving.

"Good luck!" Rosalie called.

I was going to need it.

Off to biology. My personal hell.

**R&R! btw i got the twilight calendar and its awesome. :]. Oh and guys this chapter was 1/2 inspired by the movie Speak which i just watched. I got the book a week earlier, then I was reading this Twilight magazine and I found out there was a movie, and Kristen Stewart had acted in it! So needless to say, i went to youtube and watched it, and it was really good. Kristen is amazing. So she's a fighter in this one, cuz that's how she was in this so. Enjoy, and watch the movie!**

**~DeFy gRaviTY xD.**


	6. Biology is Repulsive

**Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews, I really don't think my story is that great :].  
My computer was being crappy+ didn't let me upload it till now, so sorry!  
Enjoy!**I entered biology feeling nervous, but I didn't show it. I just acted like it was everyday I walked to a class where i sat next to my ex who I was still deeply in love with...

* * *

I sat down and pulled out my notebook and began to doodle aimlessly.

Ah. There it was, the shifting of the chair which meant Edward was mere inches away from me.

Stop Bella! I commanded myself. If I kept thinking like this, I would be kissing him in a few seconds...

"So Bella, you and Jacob? That's quite the couple," Edward whispered casually. "I remember even when we were together he'd always imagine doing frightful thing with you," He mused.

I grimaced. Did he think his nonchalantness would make me jealous? Well yes, it did. But I knew he didn't really love me, so it didn't bother too much.

I whipped my head around and searched until I met his tawny eyes. "Edward, what goes on in my personal life is none of your business. You lost that right when you left."

His eyes tightened, and he clenched his hands in fists. "So I take it you're together, with a werewolf? Well you never cease to amaze me," He mutterred through clenched teeth.

"Wow. Can you get anymore thicker? Or is your vampire hearing faulty. Because I'm dead sure that I said I punched him, and never talked to him again.."

Shock flickered across Edward's face, but he immediately composed it into his cool, nonchalant look. "Well there has to be someone, that's why you won't come back to me."

What a jerk! Ugh did he really think just because I wasn't letting him waltz back into my life, that I had to be with another guy? Mysoginystic idiot!

I wheeled around to tell Edward what exactly was on my mind, but then Mr. Brettell told the class to quiet down, and he began lecturing.

I took a deep breathe and began taking notes to keep my mind sane.

Mr. Brettell handed out the labs: Oh no! not dissecting again! It was pure hell dissecting dead animals. They smelt so good, yet disgusting. It was repulsive.

I turned to look at Edward who's expression mirrorred mine. "Ready Bella?" he asked.

I nodded and turned towards the pig "You know dissecting requires some amount of discussion..." He mused happily.

"Yes, Edward, I do. But I am dreading that part, unlike you," I snapped. Edward frowned

We began dissecting, and only talked when we asked for tools. We were done in less than 15 minutes, and that was at human speed too. I looked around. Ah, still the lfirst ones done.

I cleared the lab table and went back to my drawing, I soon realized it was a forest. I went on drawing.

I snapped my book shut in shock. If my heart could beat, it would be hammering in my chest now.

I recognized what I had drawn, I had drawn the forest where Edward had abandoned me. That very same clearing, you could even see Chief Swan's house from their. I gulped nervously. Why the hell did I draw that? Again: I have absolutely no life. Period.

Edward was looking at me curiously. Oh shit, did he see the drawing?

"What did you draw Bella?" He asked quietly.

I was going to tell him to mind his own business for the last time, but then I met his golded eyes, and I became breathless. Great, he could still dazzle me.

"I drew a forest." I whispered quietly, and looked down from his dazzling eyes.

"Can I see?" Oh no, _you_ can not know I'm not over you.

"Sorry, but I don't think that's possible." I snapped, the urge to give into him was great, but I refused.

"Oh Bella, it's very possible, all you need to do is give me your notebook." He placed his hand on my notebook, and tugged lightly.

"No." I insisted stubbornly. "It is not for you of all people to see. Why should I show you anything?"

"Bella," he sighed. "I am not asking as your boyfriend or ex boyfriend, or whatever I am. I am simply asking as a curious peer. Now you will show me, or I will rave about your drawing skills to Mr. Brettell, so that you have to show him as well, while I watch." He threatened menacingly.

I sighed. "Fine. Whatever. Don't say I didn't warn you." I said, and I let him pull my notebook out of my hands.

I looked down and covered my face with my hair in embarrassment.

I heard Edward gasp softly. I looked up, and saw his pained expression as he saw the picture. Clearly, he remembered it too. "Bella," He whispered. "We need to talk."

"No, Edward. I won't and I can't." I said. Oooh, class was over; time to escape.

"Well, bye." I said as Edward opened his mouth, and rushed out of the classroom.

Free at last.

I ran to Rosalie's car quickly, letting everything out, and sat on the hood waiting for Rose and Emmett.

* * *

Finally Rosalie came, with Emmett at tow. "How was Bio?" Rose questioned; one eyebrow raised.

"Just woderful," I said sarcastically.

Rosalie laughed, Emmett smiled, "Well, that's because I wasn't there of course," Emmett sang.

I laughed, Emmett could always cheer me up.

Rose smacked his head, "Moron..." she mumbled.

We got into the car laughing, and drove off.

* * *

**R&R please! Twilight's in two days guys3. Im dead exciteeeed. :].  
is it just me or are some Twilight fans now super scarily obsessed?  
I saw this 1 youtube video where fans screamed for like 10 minutes straight just because Robert Pattinson came on stage.  
He looked really annoyed, so all you big fans, chill it down a bit :].  
But we still love hiim :].  
And you middle aged loving womans, please, don't scar the world by asking taylor Lautner to sign you panties again  
please.  
srry, i had to rant, but R&R.  
I want 2 start another new story, but I will finish this one first :].  
Don't worry there are plenty more chapters to come!**

**~DeFy gRaviTY xD**


	7. Heartless

**Hey guys, sorry for the late updat :[.  
btw saw the movie, and it was amazing :].  
The song for this chapter is Where The Stars Go Blue- Tyler Hilton, and Bethany Joy**

After Rose dropped me off that evening I had alot to contemplate about, so I skipped hunting, to think.

I was so stupid, drawing that. I could have drawn anything else, anything at all. But no, I had to draw that damn forest.

Of course he recognized it, he probably thought I was some pathetic excuse for a vampire.

I mean a hundred years later, and I was still pining over a guy who didn't love me.

I sighed and flopped down on my bed. I willed myself to sleep, just so I could escape reality, just for once.

But I couldn't. All of a sudden I just felt this rage of anger. I jumped up and grabbed my new TV, I took it with all my vampire strength and threw it across the room.

I stood there panting. Slowly I calmed down. I looked around and sighed I was so irrational. I carefully cleaned it all up and then went down to see if anything had fallen from the crash.

When I came up I dimmed the lights and closed all the windows, and doors so that I was engulfed in a temporary darkness.

I sighed in happiness and closed my eyes. I began singing my favorite song to myself:

_"Dancing where the stars go blue,  
Dancing where the evening fell,  
Dancing in my wooden shoes,  
In a wedding gown._

_Dancing out on seventh street,  
Dancing throught he underground,  
Dancing little merrionnette,  
Are you happy now?_

_Where do you go when you're lonely,  
Where do you go when your blue?  
Where do you go when your lonely I follow you.  
When the stars go blue."_

Slowly I opened my eyes, and what I saw made me gasp.

* * *

"Edward! what are you doing here?" And there he sat, in all his greek godliness on my desk, with an amused smile on his face.

He looked at me sheepishly, and slightly embarrassed?

I cocked an eyebrow waiting. He better have a good one...

"I had come to talk, but you were singing and I didn't want to disturb you..." Edward said earnestly. Ugh why did he have to be so... perfect? His persistance was making it harder and harder to hate him.

"Well, haven't you heard of, I don't know, knocking? Or using the front door?" I snapped.

"Well I knew you'd tell my to go away, and I really really need to talk to you..." He said pleadingly, and unknowningly he lashed out the full force of his eyes on me.

I sat there, momentarily stunned before I cleared my head. "Well you said you needed to talk, right? Then talk." I didn't care what he had to say, but after he said it he wont have any stalker excuses.

"Bella, you have to promise to hear me out: The whole truth." He said still staring at me, I looked into his topaz eyes, mesmerized and nodded, slightly dazed.

"Bella, I never ever stopped loving you. When I left I left to protect you. After what happened with Jasper, I realized that every second you spent with me was putting you--My very soul--in danger." I sat there stunned when he paused. No he couldn't, he doesn't love me.

"I was much to selfish to leave for anyone, but for you, I would do anything. Even if it meant lying to you, and cutting away half my soul. As long as I could go through the day knowing you were safe from what I was... I'd know I did the right thing."

"Edwa-" I began, I had to stop him, I couldn't take this.

Edward held up his hand. "Shh, Bella, you promised. After I left you, I became nothing but a worthless ball of misery. Jasper couldn't bear to be near me, because my emotions were so... painful to him."

"Bella I loved you, love you, and will always love you. Please take me back." He pleaded.

He couldn't, he doesn't, he loves me!??!? Edward Cullen actually loved me: Isabella Swan.

But no, I wasn't ready. Even though I loved him, I was not ready to open myself to him just yet. Maybe in time I could, but I couldn't now.

I shook my head no slowly. and I saw pain, hurt, and defeat flash through his eyes. "Edward I believe you, I truly do. But, I just can't open myself up to that just yet. Can we just be... friends, or something?" I pleaded.

"Bella, please, I'll do anything. Do you want me to beg?" He asked. His normally velvet voice, sounded choked.

"I'm sorry Edward," I whispered silently, staring at the floor.

"Well, fine Isabella." I winced you could literally feel the venom from his voice. "Goodbye." And Edward left.

* * *

I am such a cruel, heartless person. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve anything. I stuffed my face into my pillow, and sobbed tearlessly. I am an evil evil evil creature. How could I face him tommorrow? He had just pronounced his undying love for me, and I shoved it back in his face. I don't deserve love, at all.

* * *

**Hey guys!  
srry 4 the depressingness in the chapter, but it was neccesary.  
I saw the Twilight movie3 so i had to redeem Edward, cuz Edward was and is amazing :].  
I have a big chapter coming up soon. Alot of vampire drama, it'll either be the next one, or the one after that... :].  
Oh and I wanted to try something out. If anyone here has an AIM, and wants to become like good friends I'd love to try.  
I just read this bok about madison flynn or w.e and idk, i want an online bff who i can tell anything and everything too, and vice versa, so yeah :].  
R&R!**


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